The Hillairious Misadventures of WWE
by jacoballen13.jj
Summary: Join us for 21 marvelous misadventures of foundle and folly with your favorite WWE superstars!
1. Pranks for Chokeslamming!

Hello all!

As you probably know...I LOVE WRESTLING!

It's full of action, drama and entertainment!

But it's more than that...It's perfect for making a fanfic.

Credit goes to The Angry American for giving me this wonderful idea.

And now, here come...the HILLAIROUS MISADVENTURES OF WWE!

* * *

**Pranks for Chokeslammin'**

*Ah, Thanksgiving...the time of thanking god for bullshit...turkey...and of course, Kane's favorite part...*

"CHOKESLAMS!"

*Triple H knows that sound and it doesn't sound good*

Kane: *excited and sugar crazed* Chokeslam, Chokeslam, Chokeslam, Chokeslam, Chokeslam-

Triple H: Calm down Kane, You can chokeslam Bryan later, Right now, it's time for-

Kane: *sugar craze* CHOKESLAM!

Triple H: ...

Kane: *sugar craze* Aren't you gonna get Bryan?

Triple H: Uuuuh, no, not exactly, What I ment to say was-

Kane: *sugar craze* CHOKESLAM!

Randy Orton: *angry* Look, will you just shut the hell up about the god damn chokeslam! I want to eat damn it!

Triple H: Don't worry Orton, We'll fix this, *Turns to find Kane...but he's missing* Alright Ka-...Kane?...Aw god damn it! Where the fuck is he?! STEPH! WHERE'D HE GO?!

Stephanie McMahon: *off screen* I heard him say something about chokeslamming Bryan.

Triple H: *thinking to herself* Oh hell no...

*Meanwhile, Backstage...*

Zack Ryder: *texting to someone*

Kane: *pops up out of nowhere* HAPPY THANKSGIVING BRYAN! :D

Zack Ryder: *freaks out* AGH! HOLY SHIT BRO! WHAT THE HELL?!

Kane: It's thanksgiving...Where the hell is Bryan?

Zack Ryder: ...Are you serious bro, IDK where the fuck he went.

Kane: Well...You'll do. *Chokeslams Ryder and walks off to find Daniel Bryan*

*Meanwhile in another part of backstage...*

Zeb Coulter: How the hell are we gonna prove ourself if we don't get our titles?!

Jack Swagger: Yeah, How come The Rhodes Brawvers get vuh glory?

Antonio Cesaro: Ja, *repeats the question in German*

Zeb Coulter: ...Antonio, what did I tell you about using another language?

Antonio Cesaro: *dejectly* Never use it...

Zeb Coulter: That's right, and you know better than to-

Kane: SURPRISE!

Zeb Coulter: *Screams like a little girl*

Jack Swagger: HOLY CRAP! ZEB!

Antonio Cesaro: Kane, What the HELL do you want from me?!

Kane: ...Daniel Bryan...

Antonio Cesaro: In Swiss...Nein, In German...Nein...In French...Non...In Italian...No...And in English...N-

Kane: *chokeslams Antonio Cesaro and turns to Jack Swagger and asks the same question*

Jack Swagger: *afraid* IDK what the hell your talking about you bastard!

Kane: *this pulls his strings and he chokeslams Jack Swagger on top of Antonio Cesaro and walks off to find Daniel Bryan*

*But what he doesn't know is...*

Daniel Bryan: *putting invisible ink on himself so Kane won't see him* *giggles* Let's see him try to get me...*gets a ghost outfit*

Kane: *finds the room where D-Bry is and lets the ghost costume go...but he still gets no Bryan* ...AW COME ON!...WHERE IS DANIEL BRYAN?!

*Kane is about to throw a temper tantrum when The Shield finally come in*

Dean Ambrose: *grabs Kane's left arm* Whoa there big guy, I think that's PLENTY enough chokeslams for the night ol' buddy ol' pal.

Seth Rollins: *grabs Kane's right arm* Yeah, i'm fricking starving!

Roman Reigns: ...What do I get to grab?

Dean Ambrose: ...Oh...Well...this is embarassing.

*A few minutes later*

Kane: *chained up*

Triple H: ...And so we toast...to the WWE...and to the WWE Universe!

Triple H, Stephanie McMahon, Orton and The Shield: CHEERS!

Daniel Bryan: *puts a message on Triple H's door that reads this...*

**Dear Mr. H**

**Don't worry about your friend Kane, I took very good care of him...**

**Let's just say, He won't be chokeslamming anyone for a long time...**

**Signed, Your Friemeny, Daniel Bryan.**

*Daniel Bryan rides into the sunset as Triple H yells out*

Triple H: BRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

* * *

**Nate Wright: Yo' peeps, This is the Nate here speaking infront of all of my Nations out there saying to read and review this, cause if you don't, Wade Barrett's gonna be the Good News Barrett!**


	2. Weed the People

I DON'T OWN SHIT OF THE WWE.

* * *

**Weed the People**

*It's December 21st 2013, and we go in the arena for the match*

"Cody Rhodes, CROSS RHODES!"

*Cody Rhodes covers Jack Swagger, 1, 2, 3!*

Michael: Cody Rhodes picks up an incredible victory of the Real American!

JBL: Yes he did, but what with the Real Americans recent slump and all, is this STILL a big win?

*Backstage*

Jack Swagger: *angry* Ugh, god damn it! That's the 5th time i've lost!

Santino Marella: So does that mean you want to be part of the new J.O.B squad?

*Santino, Zack, Brodus, Tensai, R-Truth, 3MB, Ryback, Yoshi Tatsu and Alex Riley smile at Jack Swagger*

Jack Swagger: *sigh* Santino, I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible...Fuck, off, you, douchebag.

Santino: Ok! *walks off*

Curt Hawkins: *looking at his winning streak at NXT* I am back in the radar!

Jack Swagger: What?

Curt Hawkins: See this?...I beat Ezo Amore, Mickey Keegan and yes, I damn sure did, Tyson Kidd.

Jack Swagger: *dejected* Congratulations.

Curt Hawkins: Aw man, the hell's wrong with you, This is the time to CELEBRATE!

Jack Swagger: Not now Hawk, I'm not in the mood.

Curt Hawkins: Let me guess, your slump?

Jack Swagger: Hell yeah! I've lost to Jimmy Uso, Zack Ryder, R-Truth, Big E. Langston and now, CODY RHODES!

Curt Hawkins: Hmmm...I think you need a weed break.

Jack Swagger: Got that right.

Curt Hawkins: ...*gives him weed* Want some?

Jack Swagger: YES! :D *takes the weed*

*10 Minutes Later*

Dean Malenko: Hey wake up...wake up...wake up...come on buddy, I want to go home.

Jack Swagger: *stoned* Heheheheheheheheh, What?

Curt Hawkins: *stoned* What are you saying to me?

Dean Malenko: Look, SmackDown is over, You're supposed to back home!

Jack Swagger: *Stoned* For what?

Dean Malenko: ?

Curt Hawkins: *makes out with his computer*

Jack Swagger: *laughing out of control*

Dean Malenko: ...Did you guys just have weed?

Jack Swagger and Curt Hawkins: Yes we did...

* * *

**So afterwards Jack Swagger became a jobber's jobber and was abandoned by The Real Americans, he commited suicide 7 weeks later.**

**Curt Hawkins quit and slammed the company 2 weeks after Jack Swagger died and started his own promotion with Tyler Reks and Zack Ryder and bought out TNA to become the Really Fucked Up Wrestling Assocation or the RFUWA for short.**

**And that's that for story 2, Ik it sucked, but so be it. This is Jacob saying, Read and Review!**

**Cause seriously, I only have 1 review so far! And it's not even on THIS story!**


	3. Bad News Barrett- What You Missed

I STILL DON'T OWN THE WWE...YET...

**Bad News Barrett- What You've Missed**

Yoshi Tatsu: *playing guitar when he sees Barrett*

Bad News Barrett: 'ey Yoshi...I'm afraid I have some bad news...You're jobbing to me again. *walks off*

Yoshi Tatsu: ...*plays guitar to Iron Man song and sings* Bad, News, Bar-ar-rrett! He so bad he so grim! (#BADNEWSBARRETT)

* * *

Titus and Darren: MILLIONS O' DOLLARS, MILLIONS O' DOLLARS, MILLIONS O' DOLLARS, MILLIONS O'- *Wade shuts them up*

Bad News Barrett: I've got some bad news...You've just went bankrupt. *walks off*

Titus O'Neil: Bad News Barrett?

Darren Young: I ain't having sex with ANY-one that ridiculous! (#BADNEWSBARRETT)

* * *

Jack Swagger: Weed the People...Weed the People.

Antonio Cesaro: GREATNESS, GREATNESS.

Zeb Coulter: o.o

Bad News Barrett: *to Zeb Coulter* I'm afraid i've got some bad news...Those guys are on weed. *walks off*

Zeb Coulter: Damn it Bad News Barrett, Are you trying to get me fired? (#BADNEWSBARRETT)

* * *

Zack Ryder: *on pot* Heheheheheh, Hey Berratt!

Wade Barrett: *high* What?

Zack Ryder; Do you have some bababababababababababad news?

Wade Barrett: Bad News? Dab Ewns?! I'LL GIVE YA SOME BAD NEWS! *Bull Hammers Zack Ryder* I FUCKED YA MOTHER LAST NIGHT! (#BADNEWSBARRETT!)

* * *

Read, Recycle and Review people!


	4. Ryback and Friends- Part 1

IF I OWNED THE WWE, DANIEL BRYAN WOULD BE WWE CHAMPION.

**Ryback the Purple Dinosaur**

Hey kids! It's time for RYBACK AND FRIENDS!

(YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!)

Kid 1: Gee whiz! It's such a beautiful day today!

Kid 2: Yeah! I wish my mom was here to see this, she'd LOVE the blue sky! And the clouds! And the green glass! And the- (WE GET IT ALREADY!, I mean, carry on.)

Kid 1: I wish Ryback was here to see this! He's my hero!

Kid 3: *with his Ryback doll* Ho ho ho! It is me! Ryback! Ho ho ho!

Kid 1: Oh boy! Now we can REALLY have a great day!

*Suddenly, the doll comes to life*

Ryback: *cheesy smile* Did somebody say a GREAT DAY?

Kids: RYBACK! *hugs Ryback*

Ryback: *hugs kids, though a bit too hard* Hello kids! Isn't it such a great day?!

Kids: Yeah!

Ryback: And since it's such a great day, i'm gonna sing a song! *clears throat* *cheesy music plays, singing offkey* G is for Golly Gosh, R is for Ryback, E is for Eating, A is for Alaska, T is for...uh...

Kids: TRIPLE H!

Ryback: TRIPLE H! Right kids! :D (under his breath) Fucking brats. *sings again* And I like to be fed more!

Kids: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Kid 1: So what are we gonna do today Ryback?

Ryback: Today, We're going to meet our very good Paul E. The Walrus! He has a story to tell us!

Kids: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Kid 2: What else are we gonna do today?

Ryback: We're also going to play a game with Curtis the Critter!

Kids: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Kid 3: Are we going to be doing anything else?

Ryback: Well, i'll give you a hint, It starts with a H...

Kid 1: Hopping?

Ryback: No...

Kid 2: Humping a Hobo?

Ryback: *getting frustrated* No...

Kid 3: Having Ham and Cheese for Dinner?

Ryback: *angry sigh* NO.

Kids: Then what ARE we going to do today?

Ryback: We're going to play hopscotch!

Kids: YAAAAAAAAAA-

Ryback: *snaps* SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID LITTLE IDIOTS! *attacks them all and shellshocks them* WHY DID VINCE MAKE ME DO THIS ANYWAY?

Paul Heyman: (off screen) Cause he's burying you!

* * *

*chuckles* Oh Ryback. Will you ever learn? Read and Review everyone! Oh and uh...

#RybackthePurpleDinosaur


	5. Iron Shiek Makes A Fanfiction

One day Mr. McMahon...One day.

**Iron Shiek's first Fanfiction**

TANK YOU 4 TRYING TO READ STORY OF MINE!

AND IF YOU DO NOT LIKE YOU ARE WORSER THAN HULK HOGAN FOREVER.

IRON SHIEK FUCKS AKSANA.

Iron Shiek meets Aksana.

Aksana seduce Iron Shiek.

Shieky-Baby show butt.

Aksana spank him.

They make love.

Shieky-Baby put Aksana in Camelot Clutch and make her fuckin' humble.

Aksana cum...

Aksana wife of Mr. Shieky-Baby.

**THE END.**

* * *

Reviews  
**Booker T: **What the hell?

**Paul Heyman: **-.-

**Kane: ***wicked smile*

**Damien Sandow: **This is perhaps the worst story in the history of the history of fanfiction. The person who made this story must be hunted and theirfore arrested from life for the rest of eternity. Your welcome.

**CM Punk: **That's Iron Fuckin' Shiek to ya!

**Brock Lesnar: **I give it a WTF, For WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST READ?!

**Bray Wyatt: ***disgusted* This is disgusting beyond my beliefs.

**John Cena: **o.O, Ok uh, I think that'll do it for me today...

* * *

Yeah, Don't quit your day job Shieky-Baby...Read and Review!...I guess!


End file.
